Boundaries - Chapter Four

 Most boundary problems come from how the parent's treated him/her as they grew up. Parents need to help their children make their own boundaries by respecting their child's "no" and also help them learn how to respect other people's boundaries. If the parents are restrictive, enforcing their own boundaries on their children and punishing them when the children disagree, the children will be faced with a choice. Be quiet and pretend to agree, or completely withdraw. Naturally, nearly all of the children faced with this choice choose the first option. These children will grow up to be unconfident and never able to voice their own opinions because they've been taught that disagreeing is always wrong no matter what. On the other hand, if parents give a child free reign, the children will never learn how to respect other people's "no". These parents cover all their child's bases and get them out of every jam and essentially let them get their way every single time. These children will grow up to react angrily when they don't get things that they want. It's also possible for parents to be both, one day being restrictive and the next having no rules at all. This inconsistency wrecks havoc on a child's character and they will grow up to be just as inconsistent as their parents.