Boundaries - Chapter 10 (Setting Boundaries on Children)

Children usually should not be forced to do something (Sometimes it is not possible, for example staying at their friend's house forever.). Make them decide to do the right thing, by making them know that if they carry through with choosing the wrong they will lose something they like. When parents set boundaries for children they need to take into account their age. g  Newborns have no concept of "later" which is why they panic when their Mom is not in sight. Once they get to about six months old they realize that the world consists of more than Mom and themselves, and starts to leave to explore it. Providing a safe world for them to do so is essential at this point. As they get older, they start to figure out gender and start to gravitate to the parent of their own gender. They start to learn gender roles. Parents need to figure set the appropriate amount of boundaries. Too little and they begin to think they are all-powerful, too many and it breaks their spirit and they become compliant, silently agreeing with everything. This is even more important in pre-adolescence. At this stage, they begin to learn (If a parent is good they actually encourage this) that their parents may be wrong. In adolescence, Parents need to stop thinking "How do I make him/her obey?" and "How can I show him/her how to survive on his/her own?" Appropriate punishments need to be applied. Punishing teenagers with spankings or screen restrictions will only make them angry and humiliate them. They need to suffer their own consequences, not their parents.